And then there our old friend fear....

So, the big week is here…. So much going on that, yes, I feel like I am drowning from time to time.  My wife has her centering pregnancy group meeting this week.  This group is comprised of many women that have roughly the same due dates.  They check in with each other and see how their pregnancies are going.  I think that this is a brilliant idea.  This allows some of the women who are going through their first pregnancies to find support in what some of the other women are experiencing.  It is also awesome that we get to hear our little girls heartbeat once a month, and are able to gauge my wife’s progress.  The following day we are going back for a follow up ultrasound.  With the numbers not quite adding up we (the doctors, my wife and myself) deemed it important to give it a few weeks and see what is going on.  Though the tension and stress of thinking that we were at 21 weeks and our daughter measuring at 17-18 weeks has never really gone away, up until last night I think that I have done a good job not letting that stress surface.  However, now that the week is upon us… I find that all of the bottled up stress and worry is hitting me like a ton of bricks.  I am CERTAIN that things are fine, but I still worry.  This is my wife and my little girl that we are talking about.  I know that I must be positive for so many reasons… but tonight I am finding it rather difficult.  I have been under a large amount of stress at work, I am falling behind in school, and there is just so much going on that I find it hard (if not sometimes impossible) to keep my head above water.  Just a little venting I suppose.  I AM GOING TO BE A DAD, and I am scared out of my mind.