Let me preface everything that I am about to say by stating to my family, especially my brothers that I am sorry if I have not called you yet… it has been a long day…. I WILL be calling soon.

So, today was the day of our first doctors visit.  Before I talk about the experiences today I would like to talk to the men out there.  If you are confused as to what my definition of a man is, see some of my previous posts.  Men, in this post-modern era that we live in there are a few things that seem to be globally acceptable as part of who we are, what makes us men.  Among the characteristics are things like athletic, strong, firm handed, protective and some other odds and ends.  The one that I want to talk to you men briefly about is the assumption that men cannot cry.  This is flat out wrong.  Now I am not one who is for the sniffled, timid criers.  However, I think that it takes a man to cry.  One who is secure enough in his own strength and perceived strength to be able to let loose once and awhile.  Being afraid to even let your eyes water up and your vision go blurry from time to time is a sign of weakness in yourself.  As this blog continues I am sure that I will delve more into this particular topic as it is one that is near and dear to me, but for now, let’s talk about the events of today.

I will say that it was a long night last night, for sleep seemed to be evading me at every turn, that is until I decided at 3:45 this morning that I might as well stay up, and was out like a light by 4am.  I had issues sleeping due to my nervousness and my anxiousness for today’s appointment.  That aside, my wife, who has gotten rather use to sleeping in, and I went to the hospital this morning for our first appointment.  All in all things went awesome.  My wife is going for a natural child birth (and I love her evermore so for it)  and this was our first chance to meet her midwife.  She is a nurse practitioner at the hospital here in town and she seems like an incredible choice for us.  There was the typical question and answering sessions as well as the physical exam.  My darling wife now is showing her “pregnancy brain” (or the phenomena that happens when most women get pregnant and they are unable to remember things) mixed with her total desire to crawl back in bed as well as the nervousness of the whole situation.  All of this I completely understand and do the best I can to help her with, my work load has greatly increased in the home by my own choice, meaning that there tends to be a ‘little’ exhaustion for me as well.  Anyway, All things were going well and then it came time to listen for the heartbeat of our precious little child in my wife’s womb.  Ladies and gentlemen, when we first heard the little “whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” on that monitor I am not ashamed to admit that there were tears in my eyes.  I got up out of my chair and was at my wife’s side in no time at all and I could feel the smile beaming across my entire face.  That was the “twang” that I was speaking about in a previous post.  For me it was like I just found out that we were pregnant all over again!  For the remainder of the visit as well as for the remainder of the day, I have been up on cloud nine and nowhere to be found here on this earth.  That little “whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” was the amazing sound of our little baby’s heart beating at 160+ per minute.  I have never felt so little or so big in all of my life.  We now have a birthing group scheduled for my wife, our ultrasound is in 7 weeks (yay, more reasons to be nervous / excited as all get out) and I am debating daddy boot camp.  We are also out of the first trimester! I know that there will be more updates as I can, and have the energy to do so.  I AM GOING TO BE A DAD, I am scared out of my mind, and the beautiful sound of my child’s heartbeat brings me to tears, big, strong manly tears.