Thought of the Day

There comes many times that we are able to sit back and think of the things to come.  As of late, that has been most of my time.  I am finding myself stressed trying to balance work, life at home, church, preparing for the baby, and trying to make some form of time for things like working out, martial arts and other things of that nature.  Perhaps all of this stress is hidden under the guile of busywork and is truly the pending shift in identity.  It is a bit of a looming idea that in about 7 months I am not going to be ‘just’ a husband, co-worker, brother, son, in-law, friend… that there will be an all too important title of father added near the front.  Perhaps it is this fear of stepping into this role and knowing that there is more weight lending itself to my often overburdened shoulders.  I have no doubt that, with faith and practice, that the balance will come.  But there is still this fear.  I will discount the “fear of the unknown” for far too many reasons that I care to list at this time.  But, it is nagging the crap out of me.  I can say that my wife is doing an amazing job in tackling this for me, though I am not sure that she realized it yet (but I am sure she will now that she is reading this… hi honey).   She has an incredible knack for saying the right thing, listening to the rants and raves of my day, cuddling at the right moment and then talking about the baby that just melts most of the stress away.  I find myself, more often than not, smiling and blissfully thinking of the days to come.  Yes, my wife is awesome, she is also a good woman.  She is smart, loving, faithful, religious, the mother of my future child and most importantly… she loves me for who I am.  I just wish that there were more times that I would be able to experience this from day to day.. but that is life sometimes. I AM GOING TO BE A DAD, I am scared out of my mind and confused sometimes as to why.