What is on my mind... right now?
Of all the things that I have learned over the last few months, I still hold true to a statement that I made rather blindly at first when I started this tumblr. I have only further learned that my theory was sound and true. This is thanks, in no small part, to the Dad’s that I follow and read when I get the chance. The things that we are able to glean from each other are priceless and the ability to have a resounding review board of like-minded (and not so like-minded) followers is immeasurable. What am I talking about?
I am talking about the fact that any adolescent male can ‘help’ create a child. Sadly, it seems to be the case that there is a dropping off of what a FATHER use to be. I am doing what I can to bring that standard back. I know that my brothers are doing all they can as well, and that is awesome. But here is what I think, and feel.
A FATHER SHOULD:
LOVE HIS WIFE.
Work with his wife as a team.
Be firm and resolute in how the discipline should be handled.
Be there to support his wife.
Be able to make his wife laugh.
Be there to give his wife a break… often.
Be an example for his boys as to what kind of man they should try to become.
Be an example for his girls as to what kind of man they should marry.
Be able to get lost in the love that you had before children, because of your children, and the love you will have as time goes by.
Have a “date night”, set aside time that is just for you and your wife.
Affirm all that your wife does.
Let go of what you think she does not do.
Help (even in doing this, many of us do not fully grasp how simply helping here and there is critical, and awesome).
LOVE HIS CHILDREN.
Be there to teach his children.
Be able to coax them through the mistakes that they will make with love and patience.
Be there to support his children.
Be able to spend time with his children, getting to know them for who they are, not who we think they should be.
Be there to play with his children.
Be able to make his children laugh.
Be fair.
Be involved.
Be able to be lost in the wonderment of watching you children show you who they are.
If you have multiple children, set aside special time with each of them.
LOVE GOD
Teach your children who God is to you, and who they are to God.
Take them to church.
Pray.
Hold their hands as they go through their walk, more for support and a little like a guide.
There are so many more things that I know could be added to this list, but I think that I should leave it at this for now. I know that by trying to do these things that the time spent will be some of the most worthy during my time here. I know that there are some out there that may not agree with my statements. While you are busy flying off the handle with the “I am doing this, I do not need to do that” rant, keep this in mind. I DO NOT CARE if you do not like what I have said. I will always listen to reason, and this list is not written in stone. I look to some of the fathers that I follow here on tumblr to help me keep working on this list. But, if you are one of those who just want to rant and rave, let me ask you… do you have children? Do your children know that you love them? Do they know that you love their mother? Do they see you as the type of man that they want to become or marry? If you answered “no” to any of those four, then my dear friend, you have enough on your own plate and you should not be worried about mine.
I AM A DAD, I am scared out of my mind, and it takes a MAN to be a father.
P.S.
Special Thanks to some of the dads that I follow on tumblr. Your insights have made me laugh… and sometimes cry… and I look forward to many more.
Punkdad
And the countless others that I come across when I get the chance to log in.
Also, special thanks to my amazing wife…. I could not do this without you dear.