Spank, or not to spank... that is the question.

So, the last few days have been a bit on the crazy side, but as many of you will come to know that is nothing but normal for me.  To continue in my efforts to speak to the men preparing to be fathers I want to mention that it is ok to freak out a little about some of the medical stuff pertaining to the pregnancy.  I have been told that it is having little moments of reading through all of the insurance paperwork to make sure that your wife is going to be covered if she wants a mid-wife is one of the little ways to show that there is an intense level of care on this side of the pregnancy.  But, I will have none months of freak-outs followed by many years of parenting ahead of me, so I will leave some of that for another post.  The hot topic for me tonight is based on a dream that I had last night, during the few hours of sleep that I was able to get.

Discipline.

Now, this could spark many images across the spectrum, so I am going to hone in on one aspect of it, again, based on the dream.  There is an importance of having a team of two parents in the home.  This goes for things such as home care and work (to reopen the scar of the previous post).  But, it is in this team that there needs to be communication and unification in the disciplining of the child.  I know, here I am 7+ months away from the time that I will be able to meet my little one for the first time and I am talking about this.  But think about it, when is it best for a team to prepare how to play the game?  You do not see the Washington Capitals waiting until they hit the ice saying “hmmm, I think that this puck needs to get in that net…… but how, eh?” No, they talk about it, they practice (a lot), and they live it, so that when the time comes they know what they are going to do.  “Game?” some of you might be asking.  YES, though parenting is a job, it is also a game.  We are going to be spending the rest of our live trying to teach all that we know about the world to our little ones, and getting them to believe that we are right.  Think about what it was like when you were growing up.  You NEVER believed your parents that  swinging a trash bag around like a lasso while taking it outside that you would get hurt… then BAM there you are getting stitches all because of a stupid can in the bag.  O.k., I admit, not EVERYONE could have had that happen like I did, but I think that you get my point.  There is a delicate balance between being a child’s friend, and being a parent.  Parents are authority figures that SHOULD enforce the rules.  YES that means that ideals are going to transfer.  YES that means that we are raising our children to be (hopefully) better versions of ourselves.  And YES, I now that there are many out there that think that this is so wrong.  All I will say to that is “Good for you and God Bess… you are going to need it”.  Back to my rant.  As parents, my wife and I need to stand together on what we do when they do something wrong.  What happens when the kids are playing ball in the house (baseball at that) and the tennis ball goes magically flying across the room, hits a stein (look it up if need be) from the collection sending it crashing to the ground, shattering beyond repair (Mom, Dad, if you are reading this I swear that none of the boys or I honestly remember who hit the ball….. )?  Though I grew up in a home where spankings were an acceptable punishment (and YES I agree with that still today… bring it on CPS…. Bring it on), there was no such action in this case.  It is something that is talked about and debated even to this day, but the reason that it is talked about (the fact that we DO NOT KNOW who’s fault it was) is because though we knew the various forms of punishment in our parents arsenal, what they did in this case was stand together as a team with a sign of disappointment, yet love and affection.  This has left a resounding effect on my brothers and myself, and will most likely continue to do so.  I guess that the reason for this dream, and for this post, is because I know that this child has some “me” in them… I know that discipline is something that we (my wife and I) should be thinking about NOW.  In the dream, the child got a spanking, AND THEY DESERVED IT.  Anyway, this has gotten way to long, and I assure you that it will be discussed again.  I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER, I am scared out of my mind, I am freaking out about some of the medical stuff, my wife wants to be a stay-at-home mom (I am love that) and I am worried about disciplining my child… already.