Tomorrow is the day.
I sit here pensively waiting for tomorrow to come. I cannot hide that there is a great deal of nervousness in my new job, and the training, that will begin tomorrow morning. Perhaps it is because of the time that has passed since I was made the job offer, perhaps it is all the changes that have happened since I was laid off, perhaps it is because of what this new job will mean for my family, but my nerves are really getting to me.
It is my honest hope that I am able to rest well tonight, wake up on time, get out the door, arrive, and find some peace while going through the on-boarding. As the day is meandering on, I have had little moments to take stock in things and I have come to this simple conclusion; time is flying.
It seems like just the other day I stood surrounded by brothers, family and friends that are family, in the little back room of the church. Awaiting the signal that it was time to go out and wait for the woman that I have fallen head over heels in love with, a thousand times over before this moment and tenfold that since, to walk down the aisle. Then only a moment later finding out that we were going to have a baby. Even sooner remembering her coming into this world, and feeling my heart explode with a love that I did not know existed. All the trials and tribulations, the appointments and surgeries for our sweet little girl, melting away in the sands of time, being covered over by her laughter. Then in a flash finding out that baby number two was on his way. Much the same as before, the day that he came into this world and my heart exploding more. Watching out beautiful children grow, learn, explore. Birthdays, Christmas’, road trips, trips, falls, bruises, all whirling around me, warming me, making me whole. I remember my last day at my other job, the tears on the way home, the fear, and the doubt. The following week being offered a job, sight unseen, because a dear and good friend put in a word for me. The craziness of that job, but the things that I have learned, and the amazing people that I have had the blessing of working with. Now, here I am, waiting for the day to pass, wondering what grace has in store for me tomorrow.
I start to see that this season that I have been in is a blessing. I have been provided a chance to reconnect with my beloved, and to spend time with my children. Both of these things were starting to become less and less as my time was ticking on at my old job. Both of these things we, my beloved and I, have been praying for. My family has not been in need, or want, since I was laid off. The true generosity and kindness of the many of you that have reached out has eternally humbled me, and set in motion my on desire to be able to continue on the charity and love that we have been shown. Yes, there are still bills that need to be paid, and ones that are behind, but there is a roof over our heads, and warm food in my children’s bellies. That is what matters. The laughter at the dinner table, the dancing and singing, that is what is most important. Behind faith that is. My faith has grown through all of this, compounded by the peace, love, grace and hope that has been eternally showered upon my family.
With my fingers crossed, I await to see what is in store. With abundant faith, and wrapped in the warm love , compassion and kindness that many of you have shown, I am as ready as I can ever be, for what may come.
I AM A CRANIO DAD, I am scared out of my mind, and tomorrow MUST go well.